Being okay in your own skin. I thought it was easy, but as it turns out, it's very hard. After years of thinking that you're not good enough...it's surprisingly hard to convince yourself that you are who you are. I know I can't change who I am, and having just realized that I've spent most of my teenage life trying to change that, I've also realized that accepting myself is not an easy task. Being comfortable in my own skin shouldn't be this difficult! But, alas, it is a great challange. And this time, I will not let it get the best of me. Be okay with myself shouldn't be this hard, and one day, it won't be.

Read the Book

I used to be sad because one mean, narrow minded comment could ruin my day. But then I realized...dude! It's just one comment out of so many comments! And most of them are nice loving comments from people that I actually care about! That other random comment is usually spewed from the mouth of someone who is just.....well....someones child so I won't say anything rude....and I wouldn't say anything anyway because then I would be the same as them. But, my point is that usually the person that disses me is not very close to me. Which means, that they don't really know who I am, so why should I mind? I mean, everyone judges a book by it's cover, whether we mean to or not. If all of these people who have read the book, think it's great...then why should I take the one stupid comment, from the person who doesn't even know what the book's about, so seriously? Why should I believe all the stupid sh*t that people say? The truth is that I know who I am and I know who I'm not, and I don't need you to tell me or anyone one else who Grace is. If you want to know who Grace is...Read The Book.

Planned Fate

Today was interesting. It was one of those days where everything seems to be put in place. Like nothing is a coincidence. People walk by and you just know it's not just random. You know there's a hand in it. I know it was planned. It was ridiculous! Just when I thought this day couldn't get more "scheduled", I would bump into someone, or hear someones conversation or talk to someone who was talking about someone and it just kept pointing towards the same thing. Over and over again. Like my fate was all planned out. God really showed up today...like legit!

Running From Monsters

Running. Your flimsy shoes hitting the dirt. Your hair pushed out of your face by the wind. You look behind you, it's still there. The monster your running from the. It's calling your name. "Come back, and face me." it calls. But you don't want to. Your too scared of it. "I can't! I just can't face the monster!" You telling your self to the rhythm of your pounding heart. You used to curl up under the covers and hide, but you can't anymore. You can't stay there, this monster isn't like the little ones. It's huge. It's bigger than you. So you figure, you have to run, there's no other way out. But in the back of your mind, in the depths of your heart, you know that running isn't a way out either. You can only run for so long, you can only go so far before you realize that the monster has somehow become bigger and you have become more alone and scared than you have ever been. So you stop. Stop running. You try to calm your self down, but your breathing too hard. It's cold. You can see your breath in the dusky night. You turn around to see your monster standing there. "Monday's coming" it says. It's not out of breath like you are. "Look, you can't hide forever, like I told you Monday's coming, you can't daydream for ever." The monster is right.

People.

I know that I wouldn't be who I am without people. Other People. Family. Friends. Strangers. Children. Elderly people. People I don't like. People I do like. People I probably couldn't function without. People I probably could function without but I like them anyways. People I don't mind but only because I don't see them on a regular basis. People I do mind because I see them on a regular basis. People I wish I saw more often. People I do see often. People I see often against my will. People I see often but I still wish that I could see them more. Interesting people that I wish I was friends with. Interesting people who are better observed from a distance. Interesting people who are my friends. People who are my friends and have common interests. People who are not my friends but I wish they were because we share common interests. People who are my friends but I'm not quite sure why because we have no common interests. People who are not my friends and we do not talk, most likely because we don't share similar interests. People who are not my friends, but I wouldn't know why we're not friends because I've never spoken to them before. People that I think about a lot. People I don't think about a lot. People I wish I could remember to think about. People I wish I could forget to think about. People I used to think about and it makes me sad that I can forget about them. People I will never forget, People I will always remember (yes there's a difference). People who are black and white. People who are colorful. People I would like to be close to. People I used to be close to. People I am close to.

Either way, Whoever you are, you fit in here somewhere. And it's okay that you don't know me. Or that your not really my friend even though I think you are. And it's okay if you think that I'm not cool. Because no matter what you accomplish in your life or how many lives you change, if you're not cool, you're just not cool. And that's okay too, cause at least you can choose whether you're going to accomplish good things or bad things in your lifetime. And when people think about you later, they won't really remember if you were cool or not. They're going to remember you, and what you accomplished and how you changed they're lives. I don't know about you, but that sounds a lot cooler than just being cool.