I am crushed...

I am crushed. I shouldn’t be. I saw it coming. It’s like I was tied to the tracks. Forced to watch the train come roaring down the tracks towards me and there was nothing I could do about it. I saw it coming full throttle, and for a while it seemed like it was slowing down. Until it hit me. BAM! Like a punch in the face. Crushing me and leaving my heart on the tracks. It’s like a hurricane, tsunami , tornado maybe even an atomic bomb came and ripped, tore, shredded, and incinerated the little hope I had still had after almost a year on the stupid island. He single handily shot down the tiny bit of self esteem I had left without even knowing it. At least he’s happy. He made some progress today at the expense of my heart. But it’s not his fault. Or hers. It’s no ones fault but my own. They didn’t tie me to the tracks. They’re not the ones that decided to send me to this island with no means of escape. No one did. Except me. I’m the “mastermind” behind this survival train wreck. I’m the one lying on the tracks and I’m the one who put me there. There’s just one thing that I wish I could have done. I wish I could’ve blind folded myself.