I am crushed...

I am crushed. I shouldn’t be. I saw it coming. It’s like I was tied to the tracks. Forced to watch the train come roaring down the tracks towards me and there was nothing I could do about it. I saw it coming full throttle, and for a while it seemed like it was slowing down. Until it hit me. BAM! Like a punch in the face. Crushing me and leaving my heart on the tracks. It’s like a hurricane, tsunami , tornado maybe even an atomic bomb came and ripped, tore, shredded, and incinerated the little hope I had still had after almost a year on the stupid island. He single handily shot down the tiny bit of self esteem I had left without even knowing it. At least he’s happy. He made some progress today at the expense of my heart. But it’s not his fault. Or hers. It’s no ones fault but my own. They didn’t tie me to the tracks. They’re not the ones that decided to send me to this island with no means of escape. No one did. Except me. I’m the “mastermind” behind this survival train wreck. I’m the one lying on the tracks and I’m the one who put me there. There’s just one thing that I wish I could have done. I wish I could’ve blind folded myself.

Being sick..

I have never actually wanted to be at school before. However today, I really wish I was. But no! I have to have a stupid cold! It's like the second cold this season and it's not even christmas yet! Right now, I could be having Honor Society Dance breaks with Meagan but I'm stuck at home with a head ache and a sore throat! BLAH! My mom is going shopping today too! So, I'll be alone at home coughing and probably doing homework! UGH... But whatever, it could always be worse. I could have the Swine Flu. ;)

My hair Personification...

So I decided to dye my hair a little darker for the winter. I did it tonight and while I was waiting to wash it out, my mom brought up that I'll totally loose my personification of being the tall girls with the blond hair and big black glasses. this made me kind of sad because, it's true. Everyone always identifies as the girl with blond hair. I mean, it's still blond (as far as I know) but it's not BOMBSHELL like it has been for pretty much all of my high school years. But, everyone has to change every once n' a while. Don't worry, it'll be back in the summertime. I'm not completely giving up the "sunshine California", I'm just gonna start focusing on my glasses more. :)

Could this week get any better? I don't think so! Honor Society Concert, meet and greet passes, hugs (Micheal Bruno, the lead singer offered me a hug!!), autographs, pictures with the opening act band (I'm friends with the lead guitar player on facebook!), a two day school week, I just won a t-shirt signed by Esmee Denters (even though I already have her autograph!), I haven't over eaten today, a really hot guys just started following me on twitter, and to top it all off, the Habs just won(WOOT WOOT!!) Thank you Lord for you blessings!! This week has been incredible!!! AHH! :D

Happy Moment...

My mom recently told me that the more I get the more I'll want. This is very true. When I reach my goal, I'll always want to be better. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it not. On Tuesday night, I went to see Honor Society. My best friend and I had great spots, we got meet and greet passes and got to meet everyone, including the opening act (the bass player wore my black glasses!). I got hugs and autographs from Honor Society! It's was one of the best nights of my life! However, almost immediately after, I started thinking about how wanted their new cd and how I wanted to meet them again and I kept pushing it aside and just focusing on the great night that I had, but in the back of my head was the constant want for more. There is a very thin line between wanting to reach a higher goal and being greedy, and in my mind, I was crossing it. I woke up this morning jealous of the fact that my bestest friend in the whole wide world got mentioned on Esmee Denter's live chat last night, totally forgetting the fact that I got to meet them! And that I never would have met them if my bestest friend in the whole wide world hadn't bought me a ticket to see Honor Society and Esmee Denters perform on Tuesday night for Christmas. When greed and envy blind us, we don't see what we already have, we only see what we want. I don;t know about you but I think that's pretty dangerous. Today, I'm going to take the time to thank everyone who's ever given me anything. Today, I'm going to be truly grateful because everything I get is a blessing. Thank you! :)

Hello

I've decided to start a blog (Duh.) about my life. It's gonna be about the people around me and the things that make me the way I am. Hopefully you'll like what I write! I'm just another teenage girl but I can promise that I'll try my hardest to make sure that this blog will never have a boring entry. Whether it's funny, sad, outrageous, or even pathetic, I'll try to make it dramatic. Now it's time to see the world the way I see it through my black frames...Enjoy!